to the dude in the F150

"OPPOsaurus WRX" (opposaurus) 09/15/2016 at 10:49 • Filed to: None

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I know traffic sucks. I was sitting in it. You creative way to avoid it, by driving down the grass median was somewhat amusing, but far overshadowed by your absurd level of douchery.

BorkBorkBjork > OPPOsaurus WRX 09/15/2016 at 10:53

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Every truck/SUV driver gets to do something like that once .

jimz > OPPOsaurus WRX 09/15/2016 at 10:56

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every once in a while, their uppance does come. I remember sitting stuck in traffic on the freeway, when some dimp decided to just jump out and drive on the shoulder for ~1/4 mile to get to the next on ramp.

Right past a Michigan State Police car also sitting in traffic. Let’s just say the trooper was not amused.

S65 > OPPOsaurus WRX 09/15/2016 at 10:58

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Was it a 2WD F-15o? is a quattro equipped Allroad more capable than a 2WD F-150?

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > OPPOsaurus WRX 09/15/2016 at 11:03

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If you drove a truck, you’d probably understand. (Edit: I don’t mean for that to sound condesending, I just feel like it’s true) The desire to go places and do things just simply because you think you can and there’s only one way to find out is real. I’ve given in to it myself.

That said, I’ve never done anything quite in that vein before. Here and here would typically be my thing. Or taking power line cutting, stuff like that. I try do avoid being totally blatant and public about it. Closest I’d have come would probably be this:

The distance from the start of the yellow to making the turn at the intersection, at 5:00pm, can literally take 2-3 lights no problem. Never mind the fact that you’ve already been waiting about that long to get there in the first place... when you get bored you do stuff

jminer > OPPOsaurus WRX 09/15/2016 at 11:05

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I’ve never done that to avoid traffic (unless there was a blocked road). I have gone off road in a truck/suv/dirt bike in a rural area off of an interstate say if I’m going westbound and where I need to go is a couple miles east of the closest exit on the north outer road. That’s always fun...

Urambo Tauro > jimz 09/15/2016 at 11:05

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BWAHAHA

That must have been so satisfying. I’ve been passed on the shoulder a few times, but never with a cop around.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > OPPOsaurus WRX 09/15/2016 at 11:05

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I lived/drove in California for 12 years and never witnessed that level of douchery.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > BorkBorkBjork 09/15/2016 at 11:07

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http://oppositelock.kinja.com/if-you-drove-a…

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > S65 09/15/2016 at 11:09

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On a median? Most definitely. Elsewhere, dunno... how much clearance does an Allroad have?

The thing is though, I totally understand what he did. I also understand that if I was driving something other than a truck the thought wouldn’t have crossed my mind.

It is literally a truck thing, and yes I realize how douche-bro bumper sticker that sounds.

Takuro Spirit > jimz 09/15/2016 at 11:13

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Saw that happen once. Car full of dolts kept dipping in and out of traffic, passing on the left shoulder. Then right past a marked unit.

County Sheriff pulled them over IMMEDIATELY, and came out with guns drawn.

OPPOsaurus WRX > jimz 09/15/2016 at 11:13

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i was hoping for the blue lights but left disappointed

OPPOsaurus WRX > S65 09/15/2016 at 11:14

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i would guess the ground clearance would be pretty close. The Allroad has great AWD so if it got a little slippery or steep the Allroad would kill it. What this guy did, a corolla could probably have accomplished.

OPPOsaurus WRX > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 09/15/2016 at 11:19

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I’ve driven a truck. I’ve wanted to do that but I don;t contain that level of DB. cutting behind the building doesn’t seem to bad (although I get pissed at people who cut through the supermarket parking lot and then expect to just rejoin traffic like no one noticed or cares)

gmctavish needs more space > OPPOsaurus WRX 09/15/2016 at 11:23

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Near where I work, I see people frequently hop two wheels onto the sidewalk and drive past traffic half on the sidewalk and half in the bike lane. They’re usually in work vehicles or some level of bro truck.....

TysMagic > OPPOsaurus WRX 09/15/2016 at 11:29

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I used to cut through the grass between the parking lots at work just to do a little truck stuff in the mornings after I picked up my Einstein’s. Plus it’s a major PIA to drive all the way around just to get to the place right next door.

thebigbossyboss > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 09/15/2016 at 11:32

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That does sound pretty amusing. When I was 16 I did that. There was a big long line going to a bridge. But I didn’t want the bridge, I wanted the last left before the bridge so I drove down the left shoulder in my......corolla.

Only problem back then was there was a median that sticks out so you have to merge *back* into the line at one point, then turn left. I imagine the guy I merged in front of was not amused. But he was probably less pissed off after I got around that median and got out of the way by turning left.

OPPOsaurus WRX > TysMagic 09/15/2016 at 11:35

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meh thats not bad, i’d probably do it as well

TysMagic > OPPOsaurus WRX 09/15/2016 at 11:37

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I’d take the fiat through it if the curbs weren’t so damn tall

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > OPPOsaurus WRX 09/15/2016 at 11:42

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Good, you get the temptation then.

That example there was honestly less “GET OUT OF MY WAY I’M IN A HURRY AND WAY MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU” and more “how do I amuse myself in this traffic hey look a construction road”.

I do have to admit that I must contain more douche than you, because I’ve done that “cutting through the parking lot” thing. Very infrequently, but I have done—facts are facts. And while I just have to agree on it being stupid in many cases, I’d like to single one out that I think is perfectly reasonable and I have no issues with people practicing, though I myself don’t do this one frequently either.

DynamicWeight > OPPOsaurus WRX 09/15/2016 at 11:43

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The other day I was sitting on the expressway in heavy traffic. I drove my truck over the center median to make a U-turn to get out of it. I felt okay about it because I didn’t have to merge back into traffic, so it didn’t feel like I was cheating. Just sticking it to the man: YOUR CURBS CAN’T HOLD ME!

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > thebigbossyboss 09/15/2016 at 11:45

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Done that when there was an accident in the winter, just took the shoulder for over a kilometer. Reckon I saved myself 20-30minutes.

And, iirc from my drivers handbook, that’s perfectly legal in Ontario as long as it’s paved. Win.

OPPOsaurus WRX > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 09/15/2016 at 11:45

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Its still not a good idea. It adds traffic to a parking lot which is a more pedestrian area. Then the people try to take a left out of the parking lot and they end up blocking the other lane of traffic cuz they can’t wait to pull out and there is a long line of traffic of people who waited at the light and think ‘i know what you did and i’m not letting you in’ so they end up in the same place.

tpw_rules > OPPOsaurus WRX 09/15/2016 at 11:53

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It’s also illegal in some states. In NJ the cops will get you for “evading a traffic control device.”

jariten1781 > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 09/15/2016 at 11:57

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There’s a powerline cutout behind my house that ‘connects’ two major roads in <.5 miles that would require a ~2 miles on regular roads. Problem, it’s relatively flat then drops a good 30 feet at a decent grade then has a sheer four foot drop where it hits a creek. You can’t see any of that from the cab until you’re pretty much on it (and the power lines straddle the ravine so it looks flat). Someone gets stuck out there at lease monthly. Sometimes they’re moving at such a clip they actually end up nose down in the creek, but normally they panic when they hit the grade and get stopped but can’t get back up the hill. The tow companies charge over a grand to pull you out because they won’t go over the crest so they daisy chain winches. Best was when 3 SUVs got stuck to the axles trying to personally yank their buddy out.

It’s a mistake you’d only make once yet there’s enough ‘new’ people that it’s a frequent annoyance.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > OPPOsaurus WRX 09/15/2016 at 11:57

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Which is why I do it infrequently, if at all.

But I maintain it helps traffic flow in general, because even if it puts them in a position where they are right behind the same person, there are still more vehicles making the turn than there would otherwise be. If you have a few that get through in the gap between greens, and a few that make it after the last person clears the intersection at the next red, in a situation where 7 cars (seems normal) get through the advanced green, you basically double the light’s capacity.

There is a gas station where I used (key: used) to do this all the time. I gave it up because of that whole “place of business pedestrians” thing and because I wasn’t benefitting myself anyway. That lot carries between 4-8 cars a light though, and while I don’t bother my head anymore I’m still glad for thos who do.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > jariten1781 09/15/2016 at 12:03

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You mean frequent amusement.

There’s one by where I work that connects to the main road. At the other end is a sports store. It’s almost dead flat land and sometimes I need sports stuff... do the math. Yup, you got it.

Honestly I used to (OK still do occasionally) scour Google Earth for odd routes to take in my area, since to do any proper offroading it’s a good 2-3 hours out of the city to the nearest crown land...

jariten1781 > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 09/15/2016 at 12:12

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Amusement when I’m just out walking the dog and see some schlub with his hands on his hips wondering WTF he’s going to do. Annoying when some kid shows up knocking on the door at 2230 with his kid in his arms asking if I have a flashlight he can borrow.